Quick update!

[shiredancer]

I *am* alive and well, though my moods are so widely variable that it's sometimes hard to tell. The Fall quarter began on Thursday and that makes my work life so busy, busy, busy. I was a pirate wench at the Lake Casitas Pirate Festival last weekend, flirting like crazy (right next to my patient husband!) with all the handsome, sexy, roguish, rakish pirate men walking around. That was a good day with Kidlet... she and her friend were having a ball being as wenchy as they could, little vixens. I sent them off with proper cautions and I think they learned a bit about rebuffing unwanted advances. Once I hovered near when I overheard some guy trying his best to engage them in bawdy conversation, signalling "Do you need a rescue?" as clearly as I could, but was waved away. Then as I departed she called out "Bye Mom!" so that the pervy guy was nonplussed and then tried to play it up to mom. Kidlet and friend giggled wildly over that exploit. *Shakes head*

Otherwise, though, I'm still not adapting well to the teenage crisis. There are some good days like above, and lots of bad, completely shut away, uncommunicative days. How many hours can she stay locked in her room watching Buffy and Angel? Indefinitely, apparently. Everybody I know tells me it will pass, it's the age, it's a phase. My own mind says I've failed utterly and have lost her completely, that the biggest mistakes I ever made were coming on line four years ago and buying her that damn DVD player/TV for her room last year. Two nights ago I teasingly told her I didn't like this growing up stuff, and when were we going to play a game together again? And she replied that I had my chance but I turned away when I started doing nothing but playing on my computer, and now it's too late. OUCH.

And so it goes. Been falling asleep early, wanting to hide in fics while wanting to hurl the laptop across the room, and crawling in bed with the cats whenever it gets too much. Swinging from deeply depressed to a rebound back to my optimistic, this *will* get better, self. Getting dizzy from the swinging.

Sorry, not my usual fare here. *Sigh* Better next time, I hope!

Comments

[rae-lindorie.livejournal.com]

Speaking as someone who was the child in a situation like that. It will get better. She'll eventually see that you are important, and that she wants to spend time with you.

By their nature teenagers are like that, its part of growing up. And trust me it sucks on the teenagers side too. It doesn't matter how much you say you are there for them, they'll always believe you wont understand what they are feeling.

Just stay open, enjoy the good days and don't shut her out when she come she finally comes to you.

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Ah, sweetie, I *heart* you for these wise words! Thanks for the reminder that it will get better. I'm staying as open as I can, and I'll never shut her out. I'll just have to learn to abide... *hugs*

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Sally, having been a teenager with a sucky mother (believe me, she was sucky, it's not just belated resentment saying that one), the kidlet will realise that you have done and do a lot of stuff with her. Teenagers pick on anything to rebel, and it sounds like she's rebelling just fine.

::hugs:: Hang on in there.

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

...it sounds like she's rebelling just fine.

That's a great way to put it! Thanks so much, Sarah, for putting a positive outlook on it. It's so weird -- I do remember all of this, and of course I rebelled in my own fashion (I snuck around a lot; I was just much more secretive about it all than Kidlet is... so far), but for some insane reason I thought it would be different for *me*. *headdesk* Nope, we have regular old rebellion going on even for me, and you nailed it... she's rebelling just fine. ***hugs***

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm glad I could help. To be honest, I think teenagers have to rebel. It's some kind of cosmic law. :oD

[haleth.livejournal.com]

Do you remember if you went through this at her age? How similar is her personality to yours, generally?

Don't feel bad about the DVD player. When I was a teenager I'd spend hours alone in my room with _nothing_. I'd sleep or stare at the ceiling. Maybe she just needs a lot of uninterrupted time to process all the normal changes in her life right now. Maybe every teenager on earth goes through them, but it's still the first time for her, and it's strange and kind of scary.

((((Sally)))) She's going to be fine, because _you_ are her mom.

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Haleth -- you've offered some good perspective on it. We are actually pretty different in a lot of ways, and similar in some others. She's much bolder and more outspoken than I ever was (I was kind of afraid of my mom), and she's being pretty forthright with her attitude. I was very quiet and sneaky and just sort of disappeared out of the scene. I guess, in a lot of ways, I prefer what Kidlet's doing to what I did. But then, we have a much closer and stronger relationship than I did with my mom. Hmmmm.

***Hugs*** Thanks for the nice words, honey!

[sallye.livejournal.com]

oh man, I remember my kids' teenage years. ::shudders:: I was afraid we'd all perish! I mean, why couldn't they just stay in their rooms and listen to good old Beatles music instead of that nasty heavy metal? But we all made it through those turbulent years, and now my oldest has three boys, the oldest will be 12 on his next birthday. I love telling him payback's a bitch. :-) So hang in there - it'll all come out in the wash.

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Ah, thanks, Sallye! You make me feel better. Yeah, I have to learn to ride it out. It's still in the beginning stages *shudder* so I'm still learning to adjust. I'm being quite a wuss about it, too. Gotta toughen up, here!

I love your icon! It's funny, shortly after I posted this I went out on an errand and "Let It Be" came on the radio -- it went a long way toward pulling me out of my funk. Why *don't* they listen to the Beatles? Don't they know good music when they hear it??? LOL!

[bodhifox.livejournal.com]

Well dear, coming from the dad part of it, with an 18 year old who is currently going over *asshole bridge*, who told me I was a fool for having yet another child with Sparky, (which is bullshit because she is a stellar example of a child), who won't give me the time of day, I have to tell you I feel your pain. Realy, I do.

As far as the blaming you. Don't buy it. It's a test and a trick and maybe she feels it but realy this all comes from her choices. If I didn't have the Princelings right now, Eldest's garbage would be hitting me worse. All I can do is check in, and not shut him out if he comes to his senses. You can't chase her down. Just be yourself. You have to live your life too, just keep the door open.

*hugs*

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Hey, Bodhi! Sorry for the delayed response... hugely busy on both the work and the home fronts this week *sigh*. Five things going on for Kidlet just today!

Thanks for your supportive and understanding words. I'm sorry to hear that's how it is with Eldest -- I suspect he will come around in time. Not from experience, of course, but that is what I hear from other parents. Yep, we have to sort of abide through all of this, and keep the door open, and especially keep the lines of communication open. It's a bit of a hard abiding, though, isn't it?

*Hugs* back -- you hang in there, and I will too.