5 a.m. blues: Europe
July 10th, 2002 05:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shiredancerIt's 5 a.m. and I've been awake since 4. Grrrr. Insomnia is becoming a bad habit, another mid-life crisis symptom (I would rather call it that than a perimenopausal change, just because I hate clinical terms). I think I'm starting to like using LJ as my cure, since I lie awake with so many thoughts jumbling around in my brain anyway.
So tonight, or this morning, I was thinking of my trip to Europe when I was 24. I went with my little brother, who was 21. We were the greenest of greenhorns, naive and unworldly, unfit to be let loose in the wider world. We spoke no languages, had no knowledge of other cultures, hadn't even practiced carrying our 40 lb. backpacks so that I almost fell over in Heathrow Airport when I first put it on.
From that trip in the late 70s I remember:
A snapshot with an English bobby who, when I asked, grinned broadly, opened his arms, and said "Let's have a cuddle, then". I love that picture.
After a gray rainy morning of squabbling and bitching, praying for light (lightness of spirit, metaphorical light, whatever) in the church of the Sacre Couer and walking out to a full, glowing rainbow over Paris. I took it as a miracle, myself. It was a healing from when I was 16.
Finding my free spirit in Greece.
More sunrises than I've ever seen before or since, because nobody told us how crowded the trains get in high summer when Europe is flooded with young backpackers (or was then, I don't know what it's like now). Standing all night on trains, or sitting in the corridors. Being accosted once by a couple of young drunks, and my brother -- my little brother -- getting in front of me and growling "Leave her alone!" and they did, and my heart warmed because he defended me.
By the end of our ten weeks I was able to sling my backpack up into the highest luggage racks effortlessly.
We became very close on that trip. We still are, sometimes. Those are our best memories together, ever. I'm going back to bed.
So tonight, or this morning, I was thinking of my trip to Europe when I was 24. I went with my little brother, who was 21. We were the greenest of greenhorns, naive and unworldly, unfit to be let loose in the wider world. We spoke no languages, had no knowledge of other cultures, hadn't even practiced carrying our 40 lb. backpacks so that I almost fell over in Heathrow Airport when I first put it on.
From that trip in the late 70s I remember:
A snapshot with an English bobby who, when I asked, grinned broadly, opened his arms, and said "Let's have a cuddle, then". I love that picture.
After a gray rainy morning of squabbling and bitching, praying for light (lightness of spirit, metaphorical light, whatever) in the church of the Sacre Couer and walking out to a full, glowing rainbow over Paris. I took it as a miracle, myself. It was a healing from when I was 16.
Finding my free spirit in Greece.
More sunrises than I've ever seen before or since, because nobody told us how crowded the trains get in high summer when Europe is flooded with young backpackers (or was then, I don't know what it's like now). Standing all night on trains, or sitting in the corridors. Being accosted once by a couple of young drunks, and my brother -- my little brother -- getting in front of me and growling "Leave her alone!" and they did, and my heart warmed because he defended me.
By the end of our ten weeks I was able to sling my backpack up into the highest luggage racks effortlessly.
We became very close on that trip. We still are, sometimes. Those are our best memories together, ever. I'm going back to bed.
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MY GOODNESS!!
Date: July 10th, 2002 05:51 am (UTC)I love your writing. When I see you in my friends' posts I can't wait to see what you are going to say. It's true, don't accuse me of false flattery, why would I do that? I have better things to do with my time. I hope you are getting some sleep right now, but then on the other hand I hope you are up and see this.
I love the symmetry of the backpack beginning and ending, elegantly underlining the progress you made physically and spiritually on the trip. YOU CUDDLED A BOBBY? I'm jealous. And you got a miracle, as well...it was a healing from when I was 16. Tears came to my eyes with those nine words. You must continue to write. Really. I'm going to email you about this, so be warned and delete if you don't want to talk/hear about it.
But finally, I must disagree in one place: INSOMNIA IS NOT A MIDLIFE THING. Otherwise, I'd be midlife at 34. Also, I am most certainly in no way peri-menopausal. So there. :-P
Re: MY GOODNESS!!
Date: July 10th, 2002 08:39 am (UTC)And I would never delete your messages! I love reading your writing too, and your comments. Send it on!
INSOMNIA IS NOT A MIDLIFE THING Ummm, okay, point taken... just, for me it is... so there! :-P
Re: MY GOODNESS!!
Date: July 10th, 2002 08:44 am (UTC)You type lj-cut and you have to put the <> around it.
It will say "read more" then you /lj-cut at the end, again with the sideways carrots (lol, i know that's not right, but it made me laugh)
if you want it to say something besides "read more" then after lj-cut you type text=" and put whatever and close quote and close parenthesis.
I hope this is what you were even talking about.
I wrote the email then deleted it, I am such a chicken, sorry!!
Re: MY GOODNESS!!
Date: July 10th, 2002 02:32 pm (UTC)OHHH!!
Date: July 10th, 2002 11:06 am (UTC)More please??
Re: OHHH!!
Date: July 10th, 2002 02:29 pm (UTC)And you already *do* write wonderfully, and far better than my little musings. OMG, how can you not realize how beautifully eloquent that little "cookie crumb" of yours is? No, no, *I'm* jealous... but in a good way.
Re: OHHH!!
Date: July 11th, 2002 01:37 pm (UTC)*blushes*
But you can write in a serious tone. So much of what I do has a tongue-in-cheek feel to it, at least when I'm writing it. Prouse and Joyce I'm not.
Regardless - wants more from you!!
too tired to type . . .
Date: July 11th, 2002 01:40 pm (UTC)