Heavy-hearted.

[shiredancer]

I learned this morning that one of my grad students has filed a grievance against me with the TA union, because the union-mandated letters (all three of them) confirming readerships for the quarter went out late. But still -- it's a grievance. Against me. So yeah, when it actually hit me what was going on, I had a complete meltdown in my co-worker's office -- tears and sobs. Now I have red-rimmed eyes and a fairly tenuous hold on my composure.

I just can't say how *betrayed* I feel. I give everything I have to my grad students, and leave precious little of myself to take home to my own family. I *love* my students. It hurts, incredibly so, to know that someone out there has the will to do this. At least -- I guess this is a bit of comfort -- it's only one student; I'm of course not allowed to know who. And yes, it's a pretty stupid reason for a grievance. But still. Never, in all my professional life, have I had so much as a complaint against me, to my knowledge. And to have it be one of *my* students...!

My supervisor has told me not to worry, and I'm not really, not about the job itself. But she also suggested that it might be time to take a less personal approach to the students, treat them more as clients or something; because with a powerful union out there gunning against the administration, she sees that as the only way for self-preservation. And I'm pretty sure I can't do this job like that; I just can't. If I can't care about the students, there's no point.

Guess I'll just muddle through and keep on the way I'm going. I'll just have to give those required letters a little more priority. *Sigh*

Comments

[realdaisygamgee.livejournal.com]

Ungrateful wretches. Truly. If there's one thing I've learned over the last 15 years, it's that most students have not the slightest idea what we really do for them.

I've had a couple of these, both groundless, and at least my bosses know me better than to think there was any basis for them.

*hugs you fierce*

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

*Hugs back*

Thank you, Daisy. I'm pretty sure my bosses have confidence in my work, but unfortunately it's very true that I always run late with those stupid letters, and some quarters don't even get them out. So there is basis, it's just so... stupid, y'know?

Ahhh, I'll get over it.

I'm so glad to see you back online! And I'm fretting for you. My little problems are wee things compared to yours.

*Loves you fierce*

[nonniemous.livejournal.com]

That's awful, Sally--and I agree, it's a stupid reason for a grievance. But that doesn't make it easier to deal with the betrayal. **hugs**

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

*Sniffle*

Thanks, lovie. Yeah, it's rough. Maybe the cosmos thought I needed a little lesson in humility right now? Or maybe a huge kick to get my act together better, at least at work.

Speaking of which, I'd better get on with it...

*Hugs and smooches*

[anneheart.livejournal.com]

I'll be your grad student, if you want.

*hugs*

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Hey, I certainly wish you *were* one of my grad students! Then I'd get to see henna'd hands in person, and learn more about that guy, um, on the boat. And drink tea, and share vegetarian recipes, and... well, you know.

Thanks so much for your support, Anne. *hugs back*

[baylorsr.livejournal.com]

:-( What a lousy way to start the new year. It is just one student, though, and I know that your students must feel and appreciate the concern you put into your work.

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Ah, thanks, Baylor. Yeah, kind of a lousy start here. And that's just it: I've always felt... well, rather *beloved* by my students. Ouch. But it *is* only one, and who knows? Maybe it's something that got out of hand and the union just jumped on it... they're fierce, that union.

Fortunately, I'm aware of the Consolation of Philosophy. And with friends like you, I'll get over this too. *hugs*

[eve-took.livejournal.com]

*hugs*...:/

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetie. *Hugs back*

[andraste-oz.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a ridiculous reason to file a grievance. Honestly.

*hugs* I can completely understand you being upset - hell, I get upset over teeny tiny little things at work. And you have every right to be both upset and outraged.

*fierce hugs* It's not fair. I can understand why you don't want to compromise your principles and the way you conduct yourself at your job. It's evident that for you it's a calling, not just A Job, and that you *care* about your work and your students. There's nothing wrong with that either. I'm sure there are many students who've learned from you and who really appreciate your work and your caring nature.

[shiredancer.livejournal.com]

Oh, Vanessa -- thank you! Your words have really helped. It's true, I do see it as a calling, and yes, I'll stick to my own guns and keep my standards. It still hurts, though, although now at the end of the day I'm not as teary.

Friends like you help -- a lot. *Big hugs*

[magickalmolly.livejournal.com]

This is such a late response, and I have nothing helpful to add, but I wanted to say something at least. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you're feeling better about it now.

*cuddlelovesqueeze*