2 a.m. blues

[shiredancer]

Almost 2 in the morning and I still can't sleep. I just posted a comment to mirabellawotr on her post re Catholic themes, and figured I might as well continue on the theme here. (Writing Practice 101.) So yes, when it comes to religion and matters spiritual, I'm a mess. Oddly enough I work in a department of religious studies -- not what you might think it is, no theology or specific beliefs espoused there, rather a joyous muddle of dissection of the social impact, history, and theory of Judaism, Islam, Native American religions, New Age spirituality, Wiccan, Pagan, gender issues, Christianity, Appalachian religious music traditions -- you name it. No end interesting, although seeing the grad students' thesis and dissertation titles is about as far as I delve into it (oh, and seeing those infernal field exams questions and answers -- yikes).

I think religion was ruined for me when I was 16 and pregnant and praying like blazes not to be, and woke up on Christmas morning with the full recognition that there was nobody to hear me, and I was on my own. A messy feeling, that, and two years before Roe vs. Wade to boot. Good thing the older girls at my high school knew which sleazy side of L.A. to send me to.

I've come around now to maybe sort of believing in Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and the Force. May the Force be with you. I'd like my light saber, please.

Comments

Might I offer

[chrystimd.livejournal.com]

a hug? Feel free to discard if not wanted. (((((shiredancer)))))

[realdaisygamgee.livejournal.com]

When I was a grimly academic sociology PhD student (I have recovered nicely, thank you!), my advisor was a muckety-muck in the Society for the Scientific Study of Religion. I did my Master's paper on a congregation of the Metropolitan Community Church, the Protestant denomination for gays and lesbians (which around here consists mostly of Catholics, but there you are), because my buddy Cheryl was on the Board of Directors and could get me access easily. For three months, I went to church every week, I participated, I hung out after and socialized, went to two weddings, and in short was a good little church dyke. My advisor suggested I expand it into a PhD dissertation. I turned to her and said, with passion, "Lynn, don't you make me go to church for two more years!" like it was a prison sentence.

And that pretty much sums it up for me.

And (((hugs))) to your 16-year-old self. (((ShireDancer))) even more.

I'm so sorry

[haleth.livejournal.com]

(((((((Shiredancer)))))))